Part XVIII:
The next few months became a series of working interspersed with deep thoughts about what I could do to change the world. I was 17, sowing my oaths as a rogue, and a blood elf that stood out like a sore thumb pretty much anywhere I went. Not exactly a winning combination.
One thing I did know was that most people who come to positions of power tend to surround themselves with people who tell them what they want to hear. This is not necessarily a bad thing if the ruler is competent. Unfortunately, most people sitting on thrones today inherit the position from mom and dad. Not exactly your best qualifications for employment. Most of them are spoiled idiots.
Every now and then there are exceptions to the rule but these are very rare. Trust me, I’ve been across Azeroth and back again and have met a mere handful. When you are told that you are great, even if you are a lousy ruler, you tend to believe it. When told from childhood that you can do pretty much as you please, as long as you don’t annoy the bigger kingdoms around you, you tend to believe that also. Price Lenword was a perfect example of the types of rulers that we had in our midst.
Already word of his farting problem had begun to spread like wildfire. He had no idea that it was magical, of course, and at this time I hoped he would not find out anytime soon. I was still in amazement that I could think of a plan that was not only so clever, but also very cruel. The punishment was indeed fitting the crime.
It was now time for me to make a decision, and I did. I collected my salary, had a long and tearful talk with mom and dad, and packed a traveling bag. It was time for me to see the world. It was time for me to cause a little trouble.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (17)
Part XVII:
After this it was a simple matter to climb back up to the room and replace the ring on the sleeping Prince’s finger. Everything went smooth as cream although I still had the urge to stab him in the eyes. I said a slight prayer to whatever gods were listening that the plan, as simple as it was, would work.
Prince Lenword, I found out later, was first in the line of three sons for the throne of Alterac Lake. He developed a strange malady it seemed on his travels to visit Stranglethorn Vale with stops in Westfall and Southshore for entertainment. He had large attacks of flatulence at least three times a day that started strangely after a brief stop in Southshore. Although the loud farting sounds were quite an embarrassment to the Prince, it seems the horrid smells that accompanied them were even worse.
After returning home he was shunned by his father, the King, who found this problem more than a bit embarrassing. Although the best doctors were brought in and many different diets tried, it seems the “vapor attacks” continued. The King actually built his oldest son a small manor outside of the castle walls. Prince Lenword spent most of his days there under the King’s orders. Later, at the King’s passing, the throne went to the second in line.
It is said that Prince Lenword spent most of his days in an alcoholic stupor when he was not chasing away folk with his farts and smells. Little did he suspect that had he simply removed his enchanted ring his malady would have been miraculously cured. When he was in his 50’s a passing magician noticed the enchantment and removed it with a simple dispel.
It is said that when Prince Lenword discovered that he had lost his throne and been shunned for decades due to a simple enchantment that he walked to the tree in front of his manor with a rope and hung himself. Just like Sally had done a week after he had departed Southshore. Some justice is long in coming but ever the more sweet in taste when it finally does.
After this it was a simple matter to climb back up to the room and replace the ring on the sleeping Prince’s finger. Everything went smooth as cream although I still had the urge to stab him in the eyes. I said a slight prayer to whatever gods were listening that the plan, as simple as it was, would work.
Prince Lenword, I found out later, was first in the line of three sons for the throne of Alterac Lake. He developed a strange malady it seemed on his travels to visit Stranglethorn Vale with stops in Westfall and Southshore for entertainment. He had large attacks of flatulence at least three times a day that started strangely after a brief stop in Southshore. Although the loud farting sounds were quite an embarrassment to the Prince, it seems the horrid smells that accompanied them were even worse.
After returning home he was shunned by his father, the King, who found this problem more than a bit embarrassing. Although the best doctors were brought in and many different diets tried, it seems the “vapor attacks” continued. The King actually built his oldest son a small manor outside of the castle walls. Prince Lenword spent most of his days there under the King’s orders. Later, at the King’s passing, the throne went to the second in line.
It is said that Prince Lenword spent most of his days in an alcoholic stupor when he was not chasing away folk with his farts and smells. Little did he suspect that had he simply removed his enchanted ring his malady would have been miraculously cured. When he was in his 50’s a passing magician noticed the enchantment and removed it with a simple dispel.
It is said that when Prince Lenword discovered that he had lost his throne and been shunned for decades due to a simple enchantment that he walked to the tree in front of his manor with a rope and hung himself. Just like Sally had done a week after he had departed Southshore. Some justice is long in coming but ever the more sweet in taste when it finally does.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (16)
Part XVI:
Now some of you are probably thinking, “Her great revenge was to steal a ring?”
Let me answer that. Yes. However, for you who quickly get bored, I had another plan. To return the ring intact to the place I had stolen it, the finger of the sleeping Prince.
I knocked on Uncle Nico’s door and he let me in without questioning why I was dressed in a robe which was very unusual for me. Uncle Nico isn’t really my uncle, that is the name adopted by the kids of the town for him. He is huge, kind, and more importantly an enchanter. Enchanters use magical components to place enchantments upon common items. For example, my daggers had been enchanted by Uncle Nico to absorb sounds. If I ever had to stab someone I did not want his or her screams bringing more someones. I did not tell that part to Uncle Nico though.
I handed the ring to Uncle Nico, told him the story, and then asked him if he could place a specific enchantment on the ring for me. After hearing what I wanted done and watching him laugh himself into crying for a few minutes he agreed, saying it was a just and simple enchantment that he could do one better. I smiled when he told me his improvement.
I watched Uncle pull some vials and powders off of a shelf. He placed the ring into some mixture, placed his hands over the whole thing and closed his eyes for a minute in what looked to be intense concentration. When he was finished he used tongs to remove the ring from the mess, wiped it off with a towel, and handed it back to me with a wink.
Now some of you are probably thinking, “Her great revenge was to steal a ring?”
Let me answer that. Yes. However, for you who quickly get bored, I had another plan. To return the ring intact to the place I had stolen it, the finger of the sleeping Prince.
I knocked on Uncle Nico’s door and he let me in without questioning why I was dressed in a robe which was very unusual for me. Uncle Nico isn’t really my uncle, that is the name adopted by the kids of the town for him. He is huge, kind, and more importantly an enchanter. Enchanters use magical components to place enchantments upon common items. For example, my daggers had been enchanted by Uncle Nico to absorb sounds. If I ever had to stab someone I did not want his or her screams bringing more someones. I did not tell that part to Uncle Nico though.
I handed the ring to Uncle Nico, told him the story, and then asked him if he could place a specific enchantment on the ring for me. After hearing what I wanted done and watching him laugh himself into crying for a few minutes he agreed, saying it was a just and simple enchantment that he could do one better. I smiled when he told me his improvement.
I watched Uncle pull some vials and powders off of a shelf. He placed the ring into some mixture, placed his hands over the whole thing and closed his eyes for a minute in what looked to be intense concentration. When he was finished he used tongs to remove the ring from the mess, wiped it off with a towel, and handed it back to me with a wink.
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