Part XVIII:
The next few months became a series of working interspersed with deep thoughts about what I could do to change the world. I was 17, sowing my oaths as a rogue, and a blood elf that stood out like a sore thumb pretty much anywhere I went. Not exactly a winning combination.
One thing I did know was that most people who come to positions of power tend to surround themselves with people who tell them what they want to hear. This is not necessarily a bad thing if the ruler is competent. Unfortunately, most people sitting on thrones today inherit the position from mom and dad. Not exactly your best qualifications for employment. Most of them are spoiled idiots.
Every now and then there are exceptions to the rule but these are very rare. Trust me, I’ve been across Azeroth and back again and have met a mere handful. When you are told that you are great, even if you are a lousy ruler, you tend to believe it. When told from childhood that you can do pretty much as you please, as long as you don’t annoy the bigger kingdoms around you, you tend to believe that also. Price Lenword was a perfect example of the types of rulers that we had in our midst.
Already word of his farting problem had begun to spread like wildfire. He had no idea that it was magical, of course, and at this time I hoped he would not find out anytime soon. I was still in amazement that I could think of a plan that was not only so clever, but also very cruel. The punishment was indeed fitting the crime.
It was now time for me to make a decision, and I did. I collected my salary, had a long and tearful talk with mom and dad, and packed a traveling bag. It was time for me to see the world. It was time for me to cause a little trouble.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (17)
Part XVII:
After this it was a simple matter to climb back up to the room and replace the ring on the sleeping Prince’s finger. Everything went smooth as cream although I still had the urge to stab him in the eyes. I said a slight prayer to whatever gods were listening that the plan, as simple as it was, would work.
Prince Lenword, I found out later, was first in the line of three sons for the throne of Alterac Lake. He developed a strange malady it seemed on his travels to visit Stranglethorn Vale with stops in Westfall and Southshore for entertainment. He had large attacks of flatulence at least three times a day that started strangely after a brief stop in Southshore. Although the loud farting sounds were quite an embarrassment to the Prince, it seems the horrid smells that accompanied them were even worse.
After returning home he was shunned by his father, the King, who found this problem more than a bit embarrassing. Although the best doctors were brought in and many different diets tried, it seems the “vapor attacks” continued. The King actually built his oldest son a small manor outside of the castle walls. Prince Lenword spent most of his days there under the King’s orders. Later, at the King’s passing, the throne went to the second in line.
It is said that Prince Lenword spent most of his days in an alcoholic stupor when he was not chasing away folk with his farts and smells. Little did he suspect that had he simply removed his enchanted ring his malady would have been miraculously cured. When he was in his 50’s a passing magician noticed the enchantment and removed it with a simple dispel.
It is said that when Prince Lenword discovered that he had lost his throne and been shunned for decades due to a simple enchantment that he walked to the tree in front of his manor with a rope and hung himself. Just like Sally had done a week after he had departed Southshore. Some justice is long in coming but ever the more sweet in taste when it finally does.
After this it was a simple matter to climb back up to the room and replace the ring on the sleeping Prince’s finger. Everything went smooth as cream although I still had the urge to stab him in the eyes. I said a slight prayer to whatever gods were listening that the plan, as simple as it was, would work.
Prince Lenword, I found out later, was first in the line of three sons for the throne of Alterac Lake. He developed a strange malady it seemed on his travels to visit Stranglethorn Vale with stops in Westfall and Southshore for entertainment. He had large attacks of flatulence at least three times a day that started strangely after a brief stop in Southshore. Although the loud farting sounds were quite an embarrassment to the Prince, it seems the horrid smells that accompanied them were even worse.
After returning home he was shunned by his father, the King, who found this problem more than a bit embarrassing. Although the best doctors were brought in and many different diets tried, it seems the “vapor attacks” continued. The King actually built his oldest son a small manor outside of the castle walls. Prince Lenword spent most of his days there under the King’s orders. Later, at the King’s passing, the throne went to the second in line.
It is said that Prince Lenword spent most of his days in an alcoholic stupor when he was not chasing away folk with his farts and smells. Little did he suspect that had he simply removed his enchanted ring his malady would have been miraculously cured. When he was in his 50’s a passing magician noticed the enchantment and removed it with a simple dispel.
It is said that when Prince Lenword discovered that he had lost his throne and been shunned for decades due to a simple enchantment that he walked to the tree in front of his manor with a rope and hung himself. Just like Sally had done a week after he had departed Southshore. Some justice is long in coming but ever the more sweet in taste when it finally does.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (16)
Part XVI:
Now some of you are probably thinking, “Her great revenge was to steal a ring?”
Let me answer that. Yes. However, for you who quickly get bored, I had another plan. To return the ring intact to the place I had stolen it, the finger of the sleeping Prince.
I knocked on Uncle Nico’s door and he let me in without questioning why I was dressed in a robe which was very unusual for me. Uncle Nico isn’t really my uncle, that is the name adopted by the kids of the town for him. He is huge, kind, and more importantly an enchanter. Enchanters use magical components to place enchantments upon common items. For example, my daggers had been enchanted by Uncle Nico to absorb sounds. If I ever had to stab someone I did not want his or her screams bringing more someones. I did not tell that part to Uncle Nico though.
I handed the ring to Uncle Nico, told him the story, and then asked him if he could place a specific enchantment on the ring for me. After hearing what I wanted done and watching him laugh himself into crying for a few minutes he agreed, saying it was a just and simple enchantment that he could do one better. I smiled when he told me his improvement.
I watched Uncle pull some vials and powders off of a shelf. He placed the ring into some mixture, placed his hands over the whole thing and closed his eyes for a minute in what looked to be intense concentration. When he was finished he used tongs to remove the ring from the mess, wiped it off with a towel, and handed it back to me with a wink.
Now some of you are probably thinking, “Her great revenge was to steal a ring?”
Let me answer that. Yes. However, for you who quickly get bored, I had another plan. To return the ring intact to the place I had stolen it, the finger of the sleeping Prince.
I knocked on Uncle Nico’s door and he let me in without questioning why I was dressed in a robe which was very unusual for me. Uncle Nico isn’t really my uncle, that is the name adopted by the kids of the town for him. He is huge, kind, and more importantly an enchanter. Enchanters use magical components to place enchantments upon common items. For example, my daggers had been enchanted by Uncle Nico to absorb sounds. If I ever had to stab someone I did not want his or her screams bringing more someones. I did not tell that part to Uncle Nico though.
I handed the ring to Uncle Nico, told him the story, and then asked him if he could place a specific enchantment on the ring for me. After hearing what I wanted done and watching him laugh himself into crying for a few minutes he agreed, saying it was a just and simple enchantment that he could do one better. I smiled when he told me his improvement.
I watched Uncle pull some vials and powders off of a shelf. He placed the ring into some mixture, placed his hands over the whole thing and closed his eyes for a minute in what looked to be intense concentration. When he was finished he used tongs to remove the ring from the mess, wiped it off with a towel, and handed it back to me with a wink.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (15)
Part XV:
I am not normal. Do not ever think that I am normal. Someday I will die doing something unusual. What? I do not know yet but it will be unusual and memorable. My mind has a strange way of working quickly and some say I am brutal. I could have killed the Prince that night as he slept and did some serious pondering in that direction. That would be too easy, however. I wanted to hurt him.
Night fell and with it I came to be a real rogue. I put on my black leather outfit I had put together piecemeal, covered it with a robe, and walked to the Seahorse. I stepped into the dark alley behind the Seahorse and prepared. I pulled the robe off and placed it in my sack, donned my black mask, and checked my leather sap and daggers. I double-checked the small vial, making sure the wax and cork were intact.
My stomach fluttered for a minute as I looked around then it was all business. I climbed the stone wall of the Seahorse easily. I peered into the window of the room I was seeking and saw the Prince sound asleep. His snores were actually loud enough to wake the dead which worked in my favor, this being my first job and all.
I slipped open the window and my padded boot made contact with the floor with no noise at all. Poor Sally lay at his side sobbing. Although I was loathe to do it, I sapped her first. I then sapped the Prince. As they sat there unconscious, I removed the cork from the vial and poured a few drops onto each of their tongues. The sleeping potion would ensure that they both slept till morning. I removed the large golden signet ring from his finger and climbed back to the street below.
I am not normal. Do not ever think that I am normal. Someday I will die doing something unusual. What? I do not know yet but it will be unusual and memorable. My mind has a strange way of working quickly and some say I am brutal. I could have killed the Prince that night as he slept and did some serious pondering in that direction. That would be too easy, however. I wanted to hurt him.
Night fell and with it I came to be a real rogue. I put on my black leather outfit I had put together piecemeal, covered it with a robe, and walked to the Seahorse. I stepped into the dark alley behind the Seahorse and prepared. I pulled the robe off and placed it in my sack, donned my black mask, and checked my leather sap and daggers. I double-checked the small vial, making sure the wax and cork were intact.
My stomach fluttered for a minute as I looked around then it was all business. I climbed the stone wall of the Seahorse easily. I peered into the window of the room I was seeking and saw the Prince sound asleep. His snores were actually loud enough to wake the dead which worked in my favor, this being my first job and all.
I slipped open the window and my padded boot made contact with the floor with no noise at all. Poor Sally lay at his side sobbing. Although I was loathe to do it, I sapped her first. I then sapped the Prince. As they sat there unconscious, I removed the cork from the vial and poured a few drops onto each of their tongues. The sleeping potion would ensure that they both slept till morning. I removed the large golden signet ring from his finger and climbed back to the street below.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (14)
Part XIV:
Prince Lenword sailed into Southshore without much fanfare. I was working the early afternoon shift that Thursday when the chatter stopped as two large guards dressed in mail stepped into the Seahorse, peered dangerously at us, then motioned for the teenage Prince to enter. A herald (gods I hate them) stepped in behind them and announced, “Rise for Prince Lenword, heir to the throne of Alterac Lake”. Everyone rose dutifully even if no one had ever heard of the minor kingdom.
Everyone sat down just as quickly. My eyes fell on the large, gold signet ring that most nobles were given as young boys and never removed. It would probably fetch a good price from a fence or just melted down. Then I looked at the two large goons that were watching everyone and decided against. it. The Prince sat down at poor Sally’s table.
Sally seemed ecstatic to be serving royalty. She was a good girl from a nice family and wasn’t the “wench” type that I knew of. She was also very pretty, unfortunately for her. After an hour or so of heavy drinking the Prince had the guards drag poor screaming Sally to his room upstairs as we all watched. Not a one of us did anything to stop him. What was I, a 17 year old girl, going to do against to heavily armed guards in mail? I still wake up today cursing myself for not trying.
Ol’ Salty’s eyes just fell away from mine and although I cursed him at the time I knew he would have been slaughtered had he tried anything. In my helplessness a flame lit somewhere inside my soul. This flame would change my destiny, and along with mine the destiny of Azeroth.
Prince Lenword sailed into Southshore without much fanfare. I was working the early afternoon shift that Thursday when the chatter stopped as two large guards dressed in mail stepped into the Seahorse, peered dangerously at us, then motioned for the teenage Prince to enter. A herald (gods I hate them) stepped in behind them and announced, “Rise for Prince Lenword, heir to the throne of Alterac Lake”. Everyone rose dutifully even if no one had ever heard of the minor kingdom.
Everyone sat down just as quickly. My eyes fell on the large, gold signet ring that most nobles were given as young boys and never removed. It would probably fetch a good price from a fence or just melted down. Then I looked at the two large goons that were watching everyone and decided against. it. The Prince sat down at poor Sally’s table.
Sally seemed ecstatic to be serving royalty. She was a good girl from a nice family and wasn’t the “wench” type that I knew of. She was also very pretty, unfortunately for her. After an hour or so of heavy drinking the Prince had the guards drag poor screaming Sally to his room upstairs as we all watched. Not a one of us did anything to stop him. What was I, a 17 year old girl, going to do against to heavily armed guards in mail? I still wake up today cursing myself for not trying.
Ol’ Salty’s eyes just fell away from mine and although I cursed him at the time I knew he would have been slaughtered had he tried anything. In my helplessness a flame lit somewhere inside my soul. This flame would change my destiny, and along with mine the destiny of Azeroth.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (13)
Part XIII:
The first week I worked at the Seahorse I pulled in over 3 silver in tips. The pay was lousy but you were supposed to make up for it in tips. A good “wench”, those who worked the bar to ply sexual favors, could make a gold a week or even more. She could retire at the end of a year or two having bought her own farm without even a single loan. This type of life was very tempting for the poor. Of course, the hidden dangers were always in the beatings, diseases, and even sometimes murders of these poor souls.
I was not a wench. My father had spoken to Salty, my boss, and informed him that he would shove a pitchfork very far into his nether regions if he so much as heard a hint of me doing this. Salty was a very smart man and kept the rowdy off of me. Of course, if he could not, I could. Drunks are not very agile.
My second week I pulled in 35 silver in tips and stolen goods. Believe it or not, most sailors after months at sea, come into town expecting to get robbed. The smart leave most of their money on ship and bring just enough to get a good carousing going. I figured I would do this for a year or two until I saved up enough money to move to a real city like Stormwind. I would find me a guild there, pay them a cut, and start doing real jobs for serious gold. A couple of good scores and I would return to Southshore, open myself an inn or tavern, and live the life of luxury the rest of my days.
Oh, the dreams of youth. So often shattered by a single event. That event to me was the arrival of a prince. No, I am not going to run away with him or get spurned by him. Let’s get to this part and be done with it.
The first week I worked at the Seahorse I pulled in over 3 silver in tips. The pay was lousy but you were supposed to make up for it in tips. A good “wench”, those who worked the bar to ply sexual favors, could make a gold a week or even more. She could retire at the end of a year or two having bought her own farm without even a single loan. This type of life was very tempting for the poor. Of course, the hidden dangers were always in the beatings, diseases, and even sometimes murders of these poor souls.
I was not a wench. My father had spoken to Salty, my boss, and informed him that he would shove a pitchfork very far into his nether regions if he so much as heard a hint of me doing this. Salty was a very smart man and kept the rowdy off of me. Of course, if he could not, I could. Drunks are not very agile.
My second week I pulled in 35 silver in tips and stolen goods. Believe it or not, most sailors after months at sea, come into town expecting to get robbed. The smart leave most of their money on ship and bring just enough to get a good carousing going. I figured I would do this for a year or two until I saved up enough money to move to a real city like Stormwind. I would find me a guild there, pay them a cut, and start doing real jobs for serious gold. A couple of good scores and I would return to Southshore, open myself an inn or tavern, and live the life of luxury the rest of my days.
Oh, the dreams of youth. So often shattered by a single event. That event to me was the arrival of a prince. No, I am not going to run away with him or get spurned by him. Let’s get to this part and be done with it.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Diary of a Rogue (12)
Part XII:
As a 17 year old, there are several important things you should know about me. I had become to come into my womanhood in several ways. I shall leave some of these to your imagination, since this tale is meant for polite company. Some I shall explain and delve into a little deeper. First, I was filling out the same way a human does at this age, but with several key differences.
The first was, my sex drive had not kicked in. The changes that were occurring to my body, were mostly cosmetic. As I came to learn, my races sexual urges do not kick in until their mid to late 20's. For this, I thank the gods. I got myself into enough troubles in my immature teenage years. Having some young lout ply me with tale of how he was my one and only true love to get me into bed would have probably had a better chance of working, (and believe me they TRIED)had the effects of my body overcome the sense of my brain, as is so often the case.
I was starting to stress my independence to my parents who politely laughed having been in my shoes at some point in the past. It was hard to imagine them as young, but logic tells me they once were. Anyway, I knew I wasn’t going to repeat their mistakes because I was more intelligent and clever. I believe when the gods decided to create the teenage years they added this major flaw in thinking in just for the laughs.
My first major delve into independence was to take a steady job. The only one available at the time was barmaid (not a WORD from you about “wench”) at the Seahorse Tavern and Inn by the docks. Hey, it was copper in my pocket and let me practice and ply my new found skills on the drunk. I made a killing.
As a 17 year old, there are several important things you should know about me. I had become to come into my womanhood in several ways. I shall leave some of these to your imagination, since this tale is meant for polite company. Some I shall explain and delve into a little deeper. First, I was filling out the same way a human does at this age, but with several key differences.
The first was, my sex drive had not kicked in. The changes that were occurring to my body, were mostly cosmetic. As I came to learn, my races sexual urges do not kick in until their mid to late 20's. For this, I thank the gods. I got myself into enough troubles in my immature teenage years. Having some young lout ply me with tale of how he was my one and only true love to get me into bed would have probably had a better chance of working, (and believe me they TRIED)had the effects of my body overcome the sense of my brain, as is so often the case.
I was starting to stress my independence to my parents who politely laughed having been in my shoes at some point in the past. It was hard to imagine them as young, but logic tells me they once were. Anyway, I knew I wasn’t going to repeat their mistakes because I was more intelligent and clever. I believe when the gods decided to create the teenage years they added this major flaw in thinking in just for the laughs.
My first major delve into independence was to take a steady job. The only one available at the time was barmaid (not a WORD from you about “wench”) at the Seahorse Tavern and Inn by the docks. Hey, it was copper in my pocket and let me practice and ply my new found skills on the drunk. I made a killing.
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